Don't make me use this!

So, for the record. The book sales are going really well. They now are paying for all my kindle book needs, and then some. I'm particularly fond of that "and then some". I say this first because when I started, I assumed that I'd sell a couple books, and then I'd disappear off the map. Instead my sales keep churning. So  I've been pleasantly surprised.

A bigger surprise has been the opportunity to get to chat with people who enjoy my work. People like F.S. and T.B. (I don't want to give their full names, because I don't want to stomp all over their privacy. I just wanted to say thanks for being awesome!) I've never been a chatty person. In fact I'm often quite hermitlike in my behavior. Outside of my job (not the writing, but my actual job, or as it will be for the rest of this post known as the employment that shall not be named.), and outside of my wife, I typically may not speak to anyone for a week, or two at a time. I'm a very private person.

That being said, I've absolutely loved getting chat with people over my facebook or twitter. I can't ever succeed if I don't have support from great people like T.B., or F.S. So I really think that at the very least I should be as accessible to ya'll as possible. That means drop me a message, and generally I'll answer it. If you want to know something, I'll try and answer it. If you want naked pictures of me...well then my wife will kill us both, but at least we'll go out together...GO TEAM!

So don't be shy...come give me a yell. Say hello. I don't bite...ok well I do, but only my wife, and in my defense she likes it. I love talking to you guys. That leads me on to something else.
Copyright violation. Sadly I had to spend almost an hour today getting websites to remove the files that were distributing my book illegally. Theft bothers me, but not because of the money. I don't mind the loss of income. I mind the loss of an opportunity to do something cool for ya'll. I enjoy it when I can offer the book free. I like that if I decide to add a little something special to the book at a later date, then I can have amazon send you the update eventually with the added something special. It's coming by the way, but not until after the sequel is finished. If you go out and steal the book from a website then how am I supposed to do cool stuff with you. If you just want to get the freebie come ask me on facebook. I'll tell you the next freebie date. The money is great and all, but I love having fans. I'd rather get to know you people than your wallets anyday. Right now the only place I allow my book to be sold on is the Amazon Kindle. I love the kindle, and it just feels like publishing with anyone else is kind of like cheating.

So find me on Facebook here, or twitter here . I'm always glad to hear from you.

Finally, if you haven't gotten the book...buy it here!!!!!

Lessons in Suck!

     Things are never perfect. I wish they were, but maybe perfection is boring. Maybe it's the drama that makes life worth living. I don't know, but sometimes it would be nice to find out. That being said, today was a lesson in suckiness, and sucky behavior. I actually found some jerkwad that took my book, and is trying to set it up on a website so that people can get it for free. The price isn't a problem since I plan on making my work free fairly often. I love that you people are reading it. What I don't like is when someone is intentionally stealing from me. That's douchey behavior. I realize they turned my book into a file and made it free for everyone, but they sure didn't ask me about it.
   
      First, I make my book $2.99, so it's not like I'm expensive. Second, I readily employ my 5 free days with Amazon kindle, so you guys get it free. The point is I want you to get it free from me, or pay the $2.99 from me, and not from some third rate schmuck. There are a few reasons for this.

    The reason I want you to get it from me, is that when I make a correction, or if I decide to add some extra bonus content later for ya'll, then you'll actually get it. The people getting it off this other site won't be able to do that. So they are getting robbed out of some extra fun, and I'm getting cheated out of the opportunity to try and do something cool for you.

    I'm not going to say the site, and I'm not going to say the person because I don't want to give that person the added bonus of publicity. I don't want to say the site because I don't want them to get blamed for the bad conduct of this one person.

   Other than that, I had to go to the DMV today and renew my license. My birthday is next week, and so if I want to keep driving then I have to renew. During the process I became an organ donor, and registered to vote. So if any of you are wanting a kidney's worth of writing ability...well it's just one car crash away.

     I watched Brave this weekend. It was a good movie. It's nice to see an animated movie that isn't so sappy you want to gag. The story was really strong, and I kind of hope for a sequel.

     Well that's all I have for right now. I have to go finish my Taco Bell, and write a bit before I go to work. If you want to chat, or keep track of me then you can find me on Facebook here or Twitter here.

     Have a wonderful day...except for that guy that is stealing my stuff...I hope they find polyps in you but...and those polyps are hopefully attached to the end of some really angry man's huge floppy disease ridden weenie. (And the weenie is so big that it actually wears its own hat) Oh alright, I don't wish that on you...I hope you have a good day as well...grumble grumble grumble.

Day 1: No zombie outbreak to report

      So it's the following day after my initial blog. I probably won't be doing this everyday, but it'll be a few times a week at least. Between last night and now my book has gone on sale. Midnight Squad: The Grim (The Oddly Funny Erotic Urban Fantasy) is free. I like free. Free food, free drinks, buy one get one free. The only thing better than free is when they pay you. That leads me to today. I've submitted my blog to Amazon.com, and soon I'll be at the mercy of the Kindle blog gods. I hope they are kind and gentle gods. I'll also be turning on the getting paid thing here with google. Money is gooooooooooood! You see I'd be writing anyway whether they paid me or not, but if my option is to get paid or not get paid for the same exact thing...well that's an easy choice.

   I love to write, I love to read, I love having making love to my beautiful wifey. What can I say? I'm a simple man, with simple needs. All I want out of this life is to snuggle (okay I do want more than just a snuggle, but snuggling is nice, and if I got to be with my wife whenever I wanted to be then where's the challenge. That's no fun. I mean I'm like a pirate, and I'm always after her booty. YAR!)

     So let's discuss what's going on as of right now. I've bought the new Harry Dresden book. I love his stories. They are so fun, and it's kind of like riding a rollercoaster. You just let yourself go and ride the ride. I was hooked on Jim Butcher's work when he had Harry riding an undead dinosaur. I'm still not clear if it was a zombie dinosaur, or a ghost dinosaur. I'm sure he made it clear but I was laughing so much I may have missed it. Speaking of zombies....I also got Zombie Bitches From Hell: An Apocalyptic Horror because how could I resist a title like that?

     Speaking of zombies, they really are getting popular today. My second Midnight Squad book is going to feature some zombies. I like zombies. The best zombies in my opinion are the old shuffling, rotting, disgusting zombies that want to eat your "BRAAAAAAAINS!" I mean sure they are sad and pathetic by themselves, but get a thousand of them together shuffling at you like angry ants...and now we're into shit your pants scariness. I'm really not much of a fan of the running more feral zombies that movies have started making now. Sure they are a much bigger threat all by themselves, but at the end of the day that just isn't my Romero Zombies. I guess I'm a traditionalist at heart.

     In fairness, the feral zombies are a lot better than they could have been. They could have went all Twilight with zombies. You know...make the zombies all look like underwear models and have six pack abs. I guess instead of glittering they'd shit rainbows or something.

     ****Oh Jesus, up there in heaven....please rain fiery death upon anyone that might try to create a Twilight version of a zombie. It's wrong and evil...and I know how you love to kick some evil ass. Thank you Jesus...amen.****

     Seriously, I hate Twilight. It takes something really awesome like a vampire, and suddenly neuters it. Vampires are supposed to be the bad-ass silent killers of the monster world. Just like Werewolves are the redneck rampagers of the monster world. Consequently Frankenstein and the Mummy are both the equivalent of the "slow kids" of the monster world. They're just as scary as the other monsters, but have the creepiness factor of just seeming a little retarded, and maybe a little physically handicapped. Maybe it's the walk. Strangely, though zombies have a similar walk, they don't seem retarded. Maybe that's because Michael Jackson once got them to dance. On a side note, if there ever is a zombie outbreak, would the best defensive course of action just be to start grabbing your crotch and moonwalking?



Now that being said, lets have a fantastic time, and I hope you enjoy the ride. If you want to buy Midnight Squad: The Grim get yourself a copy on kindle right here.
Feeling lonely and want to check me out on Facebook click here. 
Wanna see me on Twitter...yep come check out my Twat right here.

In the beginning there was...me?

You're probably asking yourself? Who is J.L.M. Visada, and why should I care. Well I'm just a really odd dude that likes to write. I was born and raised in Texas, and I'm married to a really awesome woman. I write , and recently published an e-book on kindle. So far it's made enough to pay for my kindle addiction. I honestly didn't expect that much success. I thought maybe 2 or 3 sales a month, and instead I got 50 in 11 days. So if you are one of the buyers then thank you, and you are awesome. If you are one of the almost 700 people that got my book for free then thank you for reading it as well, and you are also awesome, but you are $2.99 less awesome than the people that paid the full price for it. That doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you are roughly a trip to the McDonald's dollar menu less awesome than the people that paid cash. Don't feel bad, I grab the freebies too.

Well it's just you and me, and me and you, and me...and you...and me? Now that that's clear as mud lets progress to higher ground shall we? If you're reading this then you and I have just made some common ground. This is my first ever blog, and you are getting to read that first ever blog. I know...so far this has been about as exciting as watching paint dry, but don't worry it does get better. This is just the introduction, the equivalent of foreplay.

Why do I have a blog? That's actually a good question, and one that I'm not sure I have a simple answer for. The fact is that I am an aspiring e-book writer, and everyone keeps saying that if you want to encourage book sales then you'll have to start a blog. The rub of that is that if I'm writing about my book then when do I find time to actually write another book. Other people do this so maybe I'm just whining.

So what will you find here on the blog? Well you'll find a little bit of everything. Whatever tickles my fancy, or just whatever seems important to discuss at the time. One day it might be discussing politics and religion, and the next we might discuss why you can never find marshmallow peeps except during Easter. I'll probably drop a blog in here a couple times a week, but I have to find time to write, and of course I actually have a real job. It pays real money...and even though my wife keeps telling me we can live on love, she also likes having a delicious Airways bacon cheeseburger. Delicious Airways bacon cheeseburgers cannot in fact be bought with love, and any attempt to purchase them with love will most likely result in you being handed a restraining order. So I have to work, and I work a lot, and for long hours.

Our first discussion should be what brought me here. So let me tell you about my e-book. It's Midnight Squad: The Grim. It's an oddly funny erotic urban fantasy. The sex scenes are steamy, and the comedy is pee your pants funny (Although in fairness peeing someone else's pants might be even funnier in a disturbingly twisted way.) It's a funny story with lots of sex, violence, vampires, werewolves, a horny ghost nun, a gothic witch, and even Jesus makes a special appearance. I love me some Jesus, so I have to make sure he gets his props. Remember, he died for your sins...not your stupidity.

Now that being said, lets have a fantastic time, and I hope you enjoy the ride. If you want to buy Midnight Squad: The Grim get yourself a copy on kindle right here.
Feeling lonely and want to check me out on Facebook click here. 
Wanna see me on Twitter...yep come check out my Twat right here.